**Warning, this is extremely DETAILED
Like this is equivalent to actually watching the film.**
Okay, how could I not? This was very much needed. I know every other blog in existence (and every other person on instagram and twitter) are posting about this, so it probably would have been appreciated if I’d had skippped out on this. But how could I do that ?
I don’t think there’s such a thing as “non spoiler-y review” for this, because COME ON I’m pretty sure all of us know the classic tale (…..as old as time *starts singing screaming the lyrics*) But I am going to elaborate on some of the new twists they’ve added, so if you have not watched it yet, and want to be amazed, then add this post to your TBR, and go and book a ticket.
Let’s start from the beginning shall we? When Disney dropped the entire soundtrack of the movie, exactly a week, before its official release, I’d like to tell you that I handled myself with grace, composure and dignity- But that would be a lie.
I WENT ABSOLUTELY CRAZY.
For the first ten minutes, I blankly stared at the screen, unable to comprehend what was happening and then, when I finally came to my senses, I decided that I would not listen to a single song, and save it all for when I actually watch the movie. But I’m pretty sure, that we all know, how that went.
So by the next thirty minutes that followed, I’d had listened to each one and had carefully analysed them.
To all those, who loved the Ariana Grande x John Legend version of “Tale as Old as Time” , I’m sorry, but what I’m about to say next is probably going to offend you.
*cover your ears*
I HATED IT. I didn’t hate the voices, and I certainly wouldn’t have hated the song if it wasn’t from a DISNEY movie. To me, the classic melody had morphed into a cheesy pop song, and that was just wrong- in so many ways.
Moving on now, the rest of the songs, I thoroughly enjoyed but I hadn’t realised that I had skipped out on “Evermore” by Dan Stevens and “Tale as old as time” by Emma Thompson.
So a week later, on the 17th of March, the day it released here, me and my friends booked six seats near the last rows, and that’s where MAGIC happened.
Starting off, I’m so happy that we got a backstory to HOW the prince turned into a Beast in the first place. We see the splendour of his palace, beautiful ladies and handsome gentlemen, dancing ever so gracefully. And what I really loved, was that they had covered the princes’ face completely in makeup, so we didn’t know exactly how he looked till the ending bit. Moving on, the scene changes into Belle criticising, or rather wanting to get out of “this poor provincial life” . Emma Watson embodied Belle perfectly. Just perfectly. One of my favourite parts was when she said “URGH” during the Belle reprise. The only thing, I feel is that Disney wasn’t confident enough with her voice, and with her singing so, they did add a bit of unnecessary auto tune to her voice. But either way, I still loved the songs and was singing along to each line, whilst everyone around me , shot me some “Call the Security” looks. Next, Gaston. Oh Gaston. The movie literally could have been named “Gaston and the Beast”. In the 1991 version, I found (or rather, my six year old version found) Gaston to be disgusting- boring- grosssssss!!
But here, oh my. Luke Evans NAILED it. There was a part where he was talking to someone, saying how beautiful they were, and it we automatically assume he’s talking to Belle, but it turns out that he was admiring his own reflection in the mirror 😂. Everyone in the hall, at that moment, just burst out laughing. His performance was neck and neck with Josh Gad- loyal little (and smitten) Le Fou. I really enjoyed the Pub scene, when everyone was dancing on the tables singing – ” In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston! ” .
Did I just rave about the first 30 mins for all this time? Oh god.
The story continues, and we hear Maurice talking about her mother, though he never mentions anything about how she died. We go through the classic tales feeling all the feels (that’s one way to describe me between choking tears and restraining from jumping up and down in my seat from all the excitement – and sugar rush from the ice cream I’d eaten before)
Then we enter the castle, and are taken to one of my favourite scenes of all time. So, please be my guest as I rant about it (Like I haven’t ranted enough throughout this post XD)
Lumiere takes Belle to her room, after exclaiming how modest the exquisite palace room was. And there we meet Madame Garderobe, Mrs Potts, Babette, LITLLE CUTIE CHIP, and of course, Cogsworht- ahh the memories come flooding back.
From there after quite a fight between Belle and her Beast, we are taken to the dining table as the dining room presents – our dinner 🙂 – well, her dinner, but potato potaato.XD
And YES. Ewan McGregor KILLED IT. Once again, I was shot “erm,where’s the security?” glances as I sang along and watched in awe. Once again, she never really got to eat anything, but that didn’t affect my emotions one bit, instead I doubled up laughing. I could imagine Emma, having to look at literally a green screen of nothingness, as she giggled or laughed, or gave all her cute little expressions.
Then Maurice goes back to village talking of how Belle was taken in by a ferocious BEAST but we all know how that goes.
Or do we? This time Gaston vouches to help him, only to end up trying to kill him later.
Then we know, barely even friends then somebody bends- this bit, the Beast takes Belle to Paris, where her mother died and I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but together they find out why Belles mother had died. And we find out why the Beast became selfish and cruel and deceived by external appearances- it’s a nice soft moment.
Then we have the Grand Romance scene, the ballroom dance, where Emma leads the dance and the dress and she loooked so beautiful and elegant AAND AJHJJJSJDIJJEHKxhihce.
THATS WHEN I REALISED THAT THEY WERENT PLAYING THE ARIANA GRANDE VERSION AND THAT EMMA THOMPSON WAS SINGING!!
I was literally hugging my friend at this bit. THE FEELS.
Our bubble is bursted as Belle has to abruptly leave to help her father, whom she sees through the beasts enchanted handmirror being dragged by the villagers, away to where all the looney people go.
AND THATS WHEN DAN EFFING STEVENS SINGS EVERMORE. AND THATS WHEN I STARTED TO CRY. He sings out all his growing feelings for Belle in this one magical Ballad. The lyrics. The lyrics, oh god the lyrics. GO AND LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW.
Then Belle returns, and shows everyone the Beast through the mirror, and let me tell you, how insanely deluding Gaston was in this scene. The villagers follow Gaston to the Beasts castle and storm in, to attack- and WE ACTUALLY get to see the battle. The furniture fighting the men, while Gaston storms off to fight the Beast. Belle chases in after him, and we all know the iconic battle on the ledge and how Gaston shoots him.
The last petal falls, the Beast is semi-completely dead, Belle is crying, and Lumiere, Cogsworth and the rest of the residents of the castle, turn completely into furniture. The movie hall grows silent when suddenly….
The sorceress who cursed Adam, sees Belles love for him, and lifts the spell. AND AT THAT MOMENT everyone present at the movie theatre started clapping.
Dan Stevens looked so handsome in this scene- I just can’t AHHHHH
It’s morning, Everyone turns back into their human forms, Belle and Adam share a passionate kiss, so does Lumiere and Babette. The villagers all come rushing in, – this part is confusing to explain, but they all seemed to have a memory loss. So when the sorceress had cast a spell on Adam, half of them escaped the castle and forgot all about their lives and the prince. Now that the spell was lifted, they remembered everything, like Mrs Potts found her husband and Cogsworth found his wife.
The fairytale ends with them dancing in the princes’ ballroom, along to Tale as Old as time sung by Audra something (I forgot her name :/) and BELLE HAS YET ANOTHER STUNNING DRESS ON, and everyone is happy, except Gaston,because he fell off a ledge so he’s probably dead.
The scene ends there and the music is playing, the credits are rolling, everyone is leaving but my friends and I are sitting there, quietly sobbing.
Needless to say, I LOVED IT. I absolutely loved it. I’d probably rate the entire movie an 11/10 . I just AHHH. GO WATCH IT YOU GUYS ❤️❤️❤️